Why She Stays
“Why does she stay?” This is a frequently asked question, but it is the wrong question. Unfortunately, when people attempt to understand domestic violence, they often start by scrutinizing and evaluating the survivor. This practice avoids looking at the behavior and intentions of the perpetrator of the violence, and it fails to hold the perpetrator accountable for his actions. It also misses the essential task of examining the ways in which our culture condones, supports, and gives permission for battering. In our victim-blaming society, we assume that it is the victim’s responsibility to not get victimized, rather than the perpetrator’s responsibility to not use violence.