Survivor support system

Systemic Barriers

Those societal and cultural barriers that minimize a survivor’s options. These are ways that our culture and institutions make it very difficult for a survivor to become independent. Some systems often work to maintain women’s unequal status, which forces women to remain in harmful situations. The perpetuation of victim-blaming practices can pressure women to stay in abusive relationship. Options are limited and non-judgmental support is not always given.

Common Responses to Dating and Domestic Violence

There is no standard response to domestic violence.  Often times when the person experiences the first physical incident of violence they are in disbelief and/or denial, and feel responsibility, shame and/or embarrassment.  They find themselves concerned about protecting the family image and see this as a one-time only incident.  They may believe that if they change their behavior, the violence will stop.  They may try to become more pleasing, try to be a better partner, or on the other hand become more determined to end the relationship.

• Believe them.
• Reinforce that the assault was not their fault.
• Validate their experience.
• Be supportive, don’t overreact.
• Be patient.  The survivor may express a range of strong emotions.
• Allow the survivor to offer or not offer the details of the assault.  DON’T PRY.
• Don’t gossip.  Allow the survivor to choose with whom they want to share the details of the assault.
• Understand that the survivor might not want to be touched.